My Overdue November Update

It's been awhile since I've written, so I thought I would post a little update as to how things are going. I'd love to write some profound piece of wisdom, but for right now, a little update will have to do.

The first major thing that happened since my last post was losing my hair. It came fast and furious, and even though I knew it was going to happen, it was a bit of a shock. I finally got so sick of finding hair everywhere, I bit the bullet and shaved my head. My hubby was ready to do it right away, but I had to get mentally ready for it. Ladies, it's like being pregnant. The idea of childbirth scares you until your body is so uncomfortable, you don't care how that baby comes out or who sees it. One day, my mind shifted so that I was ready to do it, and off the rest came!

Having no hormones and no hair brings challenges that I can only compare to what I've heard about flying a helicopter. When flying a helicopter, you have to coordinate your hands and feet so that you can steer the helicopter, keep it at a steady altitude, and keep it from spinning. Everything is in a very fine balance, and if one of those controls is off, it can throw you into a tailspin. That is how I can explain the sensation of having no hormones and a bald head. It's like a constant battle to keep from being hot and cold. A hot flash hits, and the zip-up sweatshirt comes off, along with my cap. Then my head gets freezing, and I have to try to balance out the temperature without throwing myself into another hot flash. It's pretty comical to sit on the couch with me. I have to adjust about every 5 minutes!

The second (and best) thing that happened since my last post, was the cruise the hubby and I got to take in mid-November. We had the cruise planned since last March, so when the news came that I would be going through chemo this fall, my only question was, "Can we still go on the cruise?" My wonderful chemo nurse planned my entire chemo around the cruise, so it would come when I would be feeling the strongest in my chemo cycle. We flew to Miami and partied in Key West before boarding the ship for a week through the Eastern Caribbean. It's the longest we have ever been away from the kids, and it was a much-needed break from everything we've been going through. We partied in the casino every night, we visited some amazing places, and met some new, amazing friends. Susie and Vicki - meeting you girls was one of the highlights of the trip!

Once we got back from the trip, my 3rd chemo was held up as my white blood cell count was too low to go ahead with chemo. (Hmmm.... could it be all the fun on the cruise?) The delay in chemo let me have a great Thanksgiving with family and friends, and the week off allowed my body to recover enough to go ahead with my 3rd chemo this last Monday. 3 down means I'm halfway done! Yahoo!

Thanks everyone for all your well wishes. I definitely feel all the love coming my way, and I am grateful for all of it.

Mom Knows Best

My mom always said I should be a writer. She said it to me countless times during high school and college. I'd always roll my eyes, but I admit I was secretly flattered. As I am writing this, I just realized that the last thing I actually sat down and wrote, besides elementary school projects, was her eulogy 9 years ago. She died very suddenly of a brain hemorrhage, and we were all shocked and heartbroken. I was a new mom, and since I always looked for the silver lining, I felt blessed that she had at least been with me to get me through my first year of motherhood. Anyway, I very carefully crafted her eulogy, as it was monumentally important to me that I express everything I felt for her, and it was a way of giving a final thanks to her for everything she had given to me. The church we booked was so full that people had to stand out front on the lawn and listen to the service piped through the loudspeaker. It was overwhelming to me how many peoples' lives she touched.

Like I said, it's been 9 years that she's been gone. Now I have 3 kids and just hit the big 4-0 last year. My youngest is getting ready to start kindergarden, so now I have been feeling the angst of "what I am supposed to do now?" I am a stay at home mom, and want to continue to be, as it's important to me to be home with my kids if I can.


My mom seemed to be right about almost everything, especially about those very basic and most important things. She knew which friends and boyfriends weren't good for me. Countless times, she told me, "He's gonna break your heart." She was always right! When she met my husband, even though on the surface I didn't think they would really mesh, she said she felt like she'd known him forever. That's a pretty rousing endorsement, in my book. So... maybe she was right about the writing thing. I guess I'll never know unless I try, so here we go.