The Meaning of a Wig

I went wig shopping yesterday. I haven't lost my hair yet, but it's starting to get a little thin, and "they" say that you should get one while you still have hair. My 8-year-old said I needed to get one in my regular color, so that everyone would still know that they are my kids, and that she wanted to come along. My 5-year-old is excited about me losing my hair and getting the wig, and she has even started drawing family pictures informing me that I have a wig on in her picture. I decided that it would be fun to make it a group effort, so I asked all the women in my family to come along. There were a couple who couldn't make it, but we ended up with a good turnout for a girl's day out of shopping and, of course, lunch.

I have to admit that I was glad to have these women with me as I walked into the store. As I opened the door, I momentarily got a little twinge in my tummy. I like to look good, but I would not say I'm super vain. I don't buy the most expensive creams, I am ok running to the store without makeup, and at this point, I can't justify getting botox or anything else done. Not that I don't need it - just that I am ok with how I look, and I don't feel the need to hang on to a younger version of myself. I may feel differently in a couple of years - but for now I'm ok. (Wait - if I had the money, I would definitely spring for laser rejuvenation - I want to get rid of those sun spots!) Anyway, part of vanity is hair, and I must say that I have never had a great love affair with my hair. I have gone into the wig experience with the attitude that it will be fun to try new styles and colors, and joked to my hubby that on our cruise next month, everyone will think he's coming to dinner with a new girl each night. All that being said, your hair is a very integral part of being a woman, and even for someone who's not extremely vain, the thought of losing it is a little daunting. It's part of what makes you feel sexy, or womanly, and when you think about the whole process of losing it, falling out in clumps, it's not very enticing. Anyway... back to the shopping! As I got the twinge in my tummy, I was so glad that I had all that backup walking in the door behind me, and the feeling quickly faded. We had a great time trying on all different colors and styles, texting pics to the hubby, and I found two, very different, that I liked and took home.

After I got home last night, the enormity of the day hit me, and I was surprised at how emotional I was. What hit me was not the actual losing the hair and getting the wigs. What hit me was how eternally thankful I am for the women in my life who went with me. I have some great girlfriends who are helping me through, and I'm sure I'll blog about them another time, but today is about my family. I had my two daughters, a sister-in-law and cousin who are like real sisters to me since I don't have any, a woman I got through marriage who has become my family, and my aunt, who has always been a second mother to me. As I sat thinking about the day, I thought about what each of these women has done for me since I have started going through all this. One has been praying for me everyday, and bought me the HOTTEST new yoga jacket right after my surgery. We all know how that lifts spirits! One gave up her anniversary at the last minute to watch my kids for the weekend when I had to arrange surgery in four days, and has continued to watch them and get them to school when I have to leave for chemo super early in the morning. Another has come into my house as a Merry Maid force of nature and has gotten my house in order better than I could. Now she has unleashed herself on an unfinished kid bedroom, and I know that within a week it will look like a magazine. Finally, one has continued to be the second mom she's been since she bought me my first baby doll when I was little. She has done my laundry, watched my kids, driven to hockey, and yesterday, she bought me my wigs. It's not the monetary significance of it that made it so moving for me. The wigs are a very intimate thing, and her generosity was a way of taking care of me, just like my mom would have done if she were here. For years, I would have just walked into that store alone, not wanting to bother or burden anyone else, and I'm glad that this cancer is changing me in that way. All of these women have made me feel taken care of, and after years of taking care of everyone else, it is a very welcome feeling. Thank you, ladies, for being my backup when I need it most. I love you all!